Sunday, January 1, 2012

Eviliz Annual New Years Party

The second annual Eviliz New Years party was a total blast. Here is a recap for those of you who couldn't make it. Most of it is a blur to me since I was totally lit up on a cornucopia of pharmaceuticals, but I will do the best that I can.

The Grump was nice enough to be the chauffeur, borrowing RFoster's limousine so we could pick up our overseas friends at the airport in style. Into the limo we packed Fiona, Thelma or Louise I forget which one and HellzBellz who brought the best tulips and weed from Dutchland. The weed gave Patty and I a touch of anxiety but smelling the tulips chilled us out.

Lurch was the doorman to keep out the riffraff and we all giggled every time he answered the bell at the door saying "You rang?". Both Tom's were recruited for bouncers.

Ole J.C. arrived in a dune buggy he hijacked from Robert Hendrickson.

It was great to see Shak El fresh from his Occupy Movement. Last year if you recall The Colonel showed up with Nancy Pitman but this year she is mad at me, so The Colonel came stag.

The first thing everyone did was hit up the bar. St. Circumstance can whip up a mean "Charlie cosmopolitan." Lynyrd and Katie showed up fashionably late but with a keg in hand. Let me tell you, nobody can work a keg like SurfBat. No foam. No kidding.

As we nibbled on hours d'ourves brought by Max Frost and Sodium Penathol, Cease2 showed up with the best Xmas gift I received this year - besides cigarettes - a flat screen TV. Good thing Louis brought his extensive Manson DVD collection which kept us all busy until dinner was served. Hippiechick was the DJ again this year. We danced naked in the moonlight to all the Family albums that HippieKiller brought. Bing let me say, is the best dirty dancer I have ever seen/felt.

Oh, and the menu! Snooproose, Panamint Patty and A.C made us some great vegan dishes. Kill Trout brought ... well ... the trout.

Cease2 set us a lovely table which included the Charlie coffee mugs Adam bought off of ebay.
We finally go to see the front of Starship's head as we gorged ourselves on his famous homemade apple pie. Starship is a cutie and Patty and I felt a little intimidated by him. MaxFrost brought some take out from DiDi's restaurant. Cielodrivecom brought some banging hash brownies and Leary brought the LSD.

As with the pool party this past summer, a few people brought instruments and old Family members. After eating like piggies we took it outside for some music. Clem rocked out with his cock out (as usual) and was joined on mandolin by Kitty (she wasn't Shitty).

Adam G brought his "bongo broads" who jammed out with their clams out. And I as usual, played the skin flute. Everything was groovy until Sandy showed up.

I was so f*cked up by then, and you know Eviliz and Sandy Good - next thing I know she and I are both sending threatening text messages to high schools and companies who pollute the environment.

Matt the watchful eye and defender of Eviliz quickly called Suze the peace maker to ask Sandy to leave. Of course an argument ensued and Suze had to kick Sandy's ass. Thanks to Orwhut and Toocrowdedinthishouse for cleaning up the blood and Sandy's brain matter.

And of course thank you to Stacey. She brings bail money when she rolls with us but this time there were no police or arrests, unlike last year.

Candy and Nuts moonlights as a prison guard at Corcoran. Like last year she smuggled him a cell phone and we all waited anxiously for his call. By midnight I was passed out so Beauders took the call from Charlie.

Charlie and all of us here at Eviliz wish everyone a healthy, wealthy and Happy New Year. Ken has the photos and will be posting more of them soon...






45 comments:

Bing said...

LMAO Im not too hung over or sketched out to appreciate humor this morning

Suze said...

OMFG, that was funny. I've read it like eight times.

Matt said...

Suze, I wish I could publish the emails I wake up to from her. This pales in comparison. LOL.

adam said...

Well after I checked out from the party, the rest of the night became a blur. All I know is I woke up this morning with a pounding headache, lying in a pool of my own vomit. My butthole felt as if someone had stuffed a pinapple up it, sideways. And why do my nuts feel so itchy? Is that blood I see on the floor? What's that on the wall? Healter Skelter? Now why would I have wrote that? Man, I must have been wasted!!
Is that a note I see pinned on the fridge?
Dear Adam,
Last night was amazing,
I'm walking around like
John Wayne this
morning!! I've just
popped out to grab us
some coffee and
doughnuts. See you
soon.

Love Big Pat xxx

Is that a police siren I hear in the distance?

LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...

I have to admit...

I've never seen Liz write so well.

That's hands-down the most well-composed thread Liz has ever posted.
Great imagination... well-written... very entertaining... great supportive photos... I'm impressed.

I usually need morse code, to decipher her writing... LOL

Seriously...

If she wrote that well all the time, I might even visit more often.
LOLOL

Matt...
Whatever you gave her for Christmas, order a life-time supply quick! LOLOL

-----------------------------------------

Some of the better lines:

"The Colonel came stag" LOL

"We finally go to see the front of Starship's head". LMAO

"as usual, I played the skin flute"!

AHahahaha

(somehow, I don't think that last quote, is an extreme exaggeration!) LOLOL

Well done, Liz.
Best thread yet...
I needed a good laugh.

And See...
You didn't need all those stolen photos to be entertaining, after all! LOL

PS:
Somehow, I pictured Katie kicking Sandy's ass... but close enough.
ROFLMAO

lurch said...

Has anybody found my keys??????

Panamint Patty said...

OMG who drew this big hairy dick down Patty's leg in black sharpie pen? And she coulda done without the mohawk, you bastards! That's it, I quit (again).

hippichick40 said...

Sadie never showed up, so what I want to know is... Who took a dump in the pool?

LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...

A floater?

Gross...

LOLOL

Cease2 said...

You just can't beat a vegan dumpster buffet. Thanks AC!

LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...

Lurch...

Katie took your keys, 'cuz she didn't want you driving drunk.

She recognizes the warning signs, and dangers of drunkeness.
LOLOL

Matt said...

I think I may have slept with Katie last night....

louis365 said...

Well, I'm not too happy this morning...Last night is a complete blackout and I can't find my weed.
Btw, does anybody know what Charlie did for New Years?

leary7 said...

I am out of Orange Sunshine, and woke this morning in Iceland. Must have been following the Northern Lights. Not sure, but woman next to me might be Doris Day. I'll know when I iron out the wrinkles. Que sera sera.
Freeflow Liz is as delightful as her Evil twin.

leary7 said...

check you rump, Matt. Texas women usually brand their conquests.

Matt said...

That's how I knew it was Katie...

Matt said...

If you wake up with a bloody LSB3 on your ass and can't connect the dots it's time to quit drinking!

orwhut said...

Great work, Liz. I want to see the rest if the person with the nice legs in the last picture. Hope it's a girl.

Suze said...

I hate to say it but I have the same brand. Matt, I think it was a threesome. I also think she plotted it. A grunge f*ck if you will. Given my history I likely deserved it. I hate New Years Day.

snooproose said...

Had such a great time last night. The last thing I remember was hanging with bing and St. Circumstance in a smoke filled room. Remember guys puff puff give... Puff puff give... Glad we had enough munchies to go around!

HellzBellz said...

Was so excited to make it to the Eviliz NewYears Party. As you might know I allready had my share here in DutchLand. Because of the Time-Difference. But owkay, Charles had to come ,Off his Spaceshutle, wich gave me the chance to catch the flight to the USA with it.... I had a good party, untill the point I couldnt figure out annymore if I had to smoke the Tulips,and water the Weed.Or was it the other way around ?? Seen a lot of Family Members...(I think)I did miss Sadie though...you'll could be right ...wasnt there. I did see Squeaky though...Havin a Ball with a V.I.P. partying with late President Ford. It seemed they were pretty serious ,so I didnt bother them with my MumboJumbo after eating my brought Tulips..
I am so thankfull to the ones who did put me back on the SpaceShuttle, just in time to take the flight back to DutchLand. Maybe it was Charlie ,because he needed the Shuttle again Himself...I just dont remember. Either way, I woke up this evening at 18.30 again...and there was this strange tune echoed in my head....All is One, All is One, All is one.......

Panamint Patty said...

Space Shuttle Hans? LMAO! Ten to one the toilet was out of order, is Patty right?

LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...

Matt said:
"I think I may have slept with Katie last night...."

AHahahaha

LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...

Nah Suze, that was me...

I've been eye-balling you for months. LMAO

LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...

Matt...
Your comment(s) take first place.

I'm seriously crying over here...

I know you once mentioned "merging the blogs", but this is ridiculous.
LOLOL

(Just kidding folks... no need for wide-spread panic or rumor)

HellzBellz said...

Yeah @ Patty, its that SpaceShutle that Tom Snyder told him to step off, in the Vacaville interviews. Now in the TimeFrame of the DejaVu after my NewyearsParty here in DutchLand, I managed to kinda ,Captured, that Spaceshutle Charlie just stepped out,in order to do the rest of the interview. Do you understand now Patty how I could manage it on time to USA in order to celebrate not 1 but 2 2011>>2012 NewYears-Partys ??
But how I managed to come back ...thats still a Blurr, but I did !!

katie8753 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stacey L. said...

Happy New Years everyone! So glad I didn't have to bail anyone out. I'm using the bail money to take my kids to visit Uncle Charlie, as we call him at my house. ;-)

TomG said...

The photo of the young lady passed out on the grass is disturbing, first in that her friends allowed such a picture to be taken. In my day, that camera would be up the picture takers you know what I'm talking about.

Secondly, in that it is on the Internet, where apparently people can enjoy the failures of others, even if they have committed the same sins without being caught.

eviliz said...

eviliz said...
ok I am fresh from my 12 hour nap and ready to answer some of these questions.

lurch said...
Has anybody found my keys??????

eviliz said...
What kind of keychain do you have?
Three fell out of my vagina this morning.
A Chevy keychain
an I <3 Charlie keychain
a Transformers keychain.

Along with- a cardboard sign reading *fuck*
a half eaten corn on the cob,
one hardcover edition of
"the family"- the edition that includes The Process information but missing its dust jacket, a pair of Raybans and
a half a blunt : )

eviliz said...

Matt said...
Suze, I wish I could publish the emails I wake up to from her. This pales in comparison. LOL.

don't fret it may happen :0

snooproose said...

That blunt is mine, it got a little crazy as the night went on. I stashed it there so we could wake and bake in the morning

eviliz said...

LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...
I have to admit...

I've never seen Liz write so well.

Seriously...

If she wrote that well all the time, I might even visit more often.
LOLOL

eviliz said.....That is why I only do it once a year.

LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...

Some of the better lines:

"as usual, I played the skin flute"!
AHahahaha

(somehow, I don't think that last quote, is an extreme exaggeration!) LOLOL

eviliz said...I have won several awards over the years. I consider myself semiretired now. LOL


louis365 said...
Well, I'm not too happy this morning...Last night is a complete blackout and I can't find my weed.

eviliz said....uh yeah about that- a baggie of weed also fell out of my vagina but i didn't mention it earlier hoping it would go un noticed. i was planning on smoking that later and being none the wiser.

hippichick40 said...
Sadie never showed up, so what I want to know is... Who took a dump in the pool?

eviliz said....Shitty Kitty

Matt said...
I think I may have slept with Katie last night....

eviliz said....You did Ken has pictures don't worry.


katie8753 said...Liz, sorry about mistaking your ancient Grecian urn for a butt container.

eviliz said....Actually, those were my third husbands ashes.

katie8753 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eviliz said...

katie8753 said...
>>>Matt said...
I think I may have slept with Katie last night....

eviliz said....You did Ken has pictures don't worry.>>>

Well I hope he got my GOOD side. HA HA.

Katie, my bad, Ken shot a video not just pictures. From what I saw he got every one of your sides,
dont worry, from all the angles I would say you have ALL good sides!
Glad to see you keep your "down town" landscaped. LMAO
Ken will be posting the link to the video tonight. I think he said you can view it for $9.99 a minute. Maybe we can talk to the site owner and get us all an "eviliz.com discount?"

eviliz said...

I hope I didn't leave anyone out.
Like I said, my memory-its blurry
the video will be up later. If I forgot anyone my bad.
And don't forget we can all do it again for the First Eviliz First Anal, I mean -
First Eviliz Annual Leap Year Party!

orwhut said...

TomG said...
The photo of the young lady passed out on the grass is disturbing

The colors are so rich that I thought it was a screen capture from a movie.

Matt said...

The photo is from this tabloid article:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2482111/Cambridge-students-vomit-and-collapse-after-wild-party.html

Matt said...

And Stacey, QUIT SETTING ALL OF THOSE DAMNED FIRES!

orwhut said...

Matt said... The photo is from this tabloid article

I used to go to parties like that. The freshmen and other nubes were usually the ones who drank too much.

joe d rocks said...

nancy really came last year ?, Clem was there ?

starship said...

Now I remember what I was doing on New Year's Eve. Kinda.

eviliz said...

joe d rocks said...
nancy really came last year ?, Clem was there ?

we did send you an invite Joe D
but I never recieved an rsvp from you. yes clem joins us every year. nancy and i had a tiff so she didnt want to come this year.
she still wont talk to me, even after I offered to pay the $100.00 to get her sons pic off that site.

fiona1933 said...

Sigh...always knew Charlie would be great, that he 'would give himself completely" just like dear old Sadie said. Don't think anyone noticed we were gone so long....if only there's been time to test my theories about Clem, but choices, choices: the teacher or the student? Experience over enthusiasm? Suppose I could have combined the two, after all, didn't Charlie teach Clem how to pleasure Big Patty?

Well, always next year. That little Paul is an arrogant piece of work, though. He thinks he's all that.

Stacey L. said...

Matt--I told my daughter to stop playing with matches!