Friday, November 1, 2013

We've got your meat fix right here, Charlie!

A trendy San Francisco eatery and watering hole, BULLITT, features a Charles Manson burger on their menu.  While Charlie is an avowed vegetarian he's not ashamed to admit that he chomps down on a burger now and then.  We wonder if this namesake creation would meet his approval and would he want a kick back from its sale?

Someone was nice enough to post a picture of the burger at Yelp.  It's as greasy and sloppy looking as the day Charlie was arrested.


Unknown said...

I've heard of a "deathburger", "deathwitch" and a"buggerburger" (Gore Vidal), but a CM burger! news to me.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Max Frost said...

At least they serve Guinness!

Max Frost said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Max Frost said...

Oohh on tap even...

Farflung said...

You can tell a place is run by terminal hipsters when they have a website which is utterly un-useable. Do they not test? Why launch it? Why use any established colors for contrast or fonts larger than 12 point? White on pistachio green facilitates easy reading and makes them seem edgy, and disinterested.

Wanna know the hours? Just select that tab and…. psych .. ha.. there is nothing …. Get it? Probably not because you’re too old or uptight to see the irony in the very fabric of time being shredded by a person taking time to see hours, which are a manmade concept and nothing you can view. Completely over the head of people who just wish they could be cool enough to hang at Bullitt.

Go ahead and check out the ‘menu’. Launches a new browser annnnnnd…. Sucker. It’s the same page as before noob. The download is on an even lower priority on this page to amplify the angst of not seeing what we serve, but you can now consider yourself served. Boo-yah.

This website may look like it was crafted by an as of yet, undiscovered tribe in the Amazon, but that’s the precise affect we wanted, so it’s an epic success. Much the way a model prances down a catwalk with a vacuous stare to an invisible horizon, we have managed to produce a website with less relevance and value, while adding the charm of a sticky doorknob.

That’s enough typing for the month. I’m going back to being an employee of the 21st century by going back to my station, and texting while permanently displaying the symptoms of Guillain–Barre Syndrome. Bioatches.

Farflung said...

Probably because I care too much; I’ve crafted some relevant Family dining entrees for Bullitt:

“The Squeaky Senior Special”

A couple aged sausages served with an ice cold Colt 45.

“Krenwinkel Burger”

A plain bun with a big patty, and a hairy pile of fries.

“Little Paul Surprise”

Pulled pork sandwich and cream soda.

“Dennis Wilson Brunch”

Two chicken drumsticks and a quart of vodka.

“Bruce Davis London Broil”

A favorite meal for those accustomed to room service.

“The Hoyt Trip”

A Hawaiian burger paired with a double ‘Surfer on Acid’ cocktail. Only the brave, ride the wave.

‘Kasabian Sandwich”

A tongue sandwich you make yourself in order to stay in alignment with a ‘self-serving’ theme.

“Beausoleil Curds and Whey”

This is a special in house recipe where a couple steps were eliminated which still produces wonderful Curds and Whey. Since it’s made to order, please remember that no refunds will be allowed. No exceptions.

Also available:
“Susan Atkins Delivery Express”

In your stairwell within 30 minutes…. or it’s free.

You’re welcome.

Matt said...

Ok, this elicited an audible laugh:

In your stairwell within 30 minutes

Unknown said...

Farf, you made my day! Again.

DebS said...

Farf, I have tears running down my face. Way too funny!

You missed your calling, not that I know what you do in real life. But you should have a show on FoodTV creating menus for restaurants. :)

AustinAnn74 said...

You forgot to add something to the menu:

"DeCarlo Dill Pickle Delight"

Doc Sierra said...

Farflung said...

Also available:
“Susan Atkins Delivery Express”

In your stairwell within 30 minutes…. or it’s free.
I wouldn't order it. It sounds shitty.....

Farf, you always make me crack a smile.....

eviliz said...

I don't know I am starving right now and would eat that!

Unknown said...

It looks sort of interesting. I'd try it.